Given that it can be a stressful period this one, with a PhD which is not writing itself (unfortunately), I decided to write about some funny things. And what better topic than people and things they randomly say, some of those things that make you wonder if you aren’t one of the few sane people around? Luckily, a friend has provided me with enough reference material, so I am going to present it here, to share the joy and inspiration with you, the readers of this post.
In chronological order, we have the book “Sexually, I’m more of a Switzerland: Personal Ads from the London Review of Books” (by D. Rose, Picador 2011). This collection of real personal ads is one of the weirdest collection of thoughts I’ve ever read. They advertise it as: “An irresistible collection of brilliant, bawdy, often eccentric (and sometimes just plain absurd) personal ads from the world’s smartest lonely-hearts column.” And boy, they are worryingly indeed! Just a few examples:
-a mild one: “Woman, 36, WLTM man to 40 who doesn’t try to high-five her after sex. You know who you are”
-the “original” one: “When the Antmen unite, all will be their slaves. Man, 46, WLTM woman to 50 for whom this opening line works as a proem to sex”
-absurd:”Time is the serenest beauty of the camp, but only I have the reflexes of a fox. And a badger’s sense of smell. Woman, 51.”
-the “funny” one:” Man, 46. Animal in bed. Probably a gnu.”
The second book is called “Weird Things Customers Say in Bookstores” (by J. Campbell, Overlook Hardcover 2012). It is a great, truly amusing collection, which ranges from situations like: “Hi, would you recommend a book for me? Sure, what kind of things are you looking for? Well, I was let out of prison this morning, so something not too heavy would be nice”, to: “Is this book edible? …No”.
I shouldn’t forget the customers who said: “I’ve got an aubergine and I don’t know what to with it. ” or “What’s this literary criticism section? Is it for books that complain about other books?”….
So, if you are going through some stressful times, these might be a good idea 🙂 My personal addition to these examples are some date invitations I received: to the morgue, to an old woman’s birthday party, and to a movie about an exorcism gone bad (and the girl-victim died). Also, heard on public transportation (a delightful source for such stories, where plain, vibrating life is on display, under a multitude of shapes and sizes): from people installing video cameras to watch their dogs in their absence, to dating strategies (boys comparing which high-schools are better in this respect).
In the end, as the joke goes, there are various forms under which humor can be found:
“2 cannibals were eating a clown. one asks the other- do you taste something funny?”..